Dear Nina, I'm sorry
by Fabina4190
Summary: Fabina One-shot! Based off the song "What hurts the most" Rascal Flatts. Fabian writes Nina a letter about how sorry he is about the last week of senior year. Will they get back together or will tradgedy strike? Rated T for Teacups! JK Sadness and death?


I thought of a Fabina songfic! Sad… Just a warning but I liked the song! This is what I get for having a mother addicted to country. So today, my teacher gave me a story and my teacher gave me an unheard of check + +. The smartest girl in my class freaked! How I felt so proud… She has a 99% average and I have a 75% in Language arts… I loved it and I could make a plot to it! YAY! It's going to be a letter to Nina. Regular font is the letter and **Bold and underlined** is the song. **"What hurts the Most" Rascal Flatts**

**(Start!)**

Dear Nina,

**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
>That don't bother me.<strong>

I'm sitting here in this small apartment. I hate being this alone so much. It's raining and this reminds me of the day you left me here. The worst day of my life…

**I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
>Im not afraid to cry every once in a while<strong>

I saw how angry and sad you were and it broke my heart. I remember how we fought a couple days before graduation. I still loved you. I still cry when I think of you or when I see an old photo.

**Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
>There are days every now and again I pretend Im ok<br>But that's not what gets me**

Now that it's been two years since graduation, I still cry. I was acting rotten when I should've realized the dilemma you were going through. I could have convinced you to stay if I paid enough attention. I still go into work thinking about how much you helped my research show take off. Now I'm a host on a T.V. show and I pretend that you are still here; but reality hates me.

**What hurts the most  
>Was being so close<strong>

I hate myself for the last week of our senior year. We were so close but then Eddie and Joy caused some drama. I still can't believe I haven't seen you in two years…

**And having so much to say  
>And watching you walk away<strong>

We had so much to say, but the things that came out were the negatives. I remember sitting in the living room with Mick and I see you run by the door. I go out and yell for you, but you just keep running. You jump into the cab and zoom away.

**And never knowing  
>What could have been<br>And not seeing that loving you  
>Is what I was trying' to do<strong>

I still wish I would've run and grabbed you; bringing you back inside. I guess I would've had a lovely wife. I didn't realize then how much I loved you. I wish you never left and I could redo that whole last week of Senior year. Just to make you happy, and for you to stay. Now I see I was trying to love you back then, but I didn't know how…

**Its hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
>But Im doin It<strong>

I go on my show; hoping you are watching me solve mysteries and myths. I always wanted to see if you could be a co-host, but I don't know where you are…

**Its hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and Im alone  
>Still Harder<strong>

I see Patricia and Jerome all the time; walking around London with their two kids. Patricia wanted you to be the god-mother but you never called back. Amber and Alfie got married and Amber cried when you didn't show. Mick and Mara always try to get me a girl but none of them are like you…

**Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
>But I know if I could do it over<br>I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
>That I left unspoken<strong>

I feel sickened thinking about how rude I was. Now I think about how I want to go and find you so badly. I left so many things unspoken that I write them down in some of my songs. I wish I knew if you heard them, I put some key words in them like chosen one, American girl, elixir, even ankh and Rufus!

**What hurts the most  
>Is being so close<br>And having so much to say  
>And watching you walk away<strong>

I still hate myself for kissing Joy two days before graduation. She kissed me, and I was jealous of Eddie. I knew when you walked in at that exact moment; you were heart broken. The truth is the letter you dropped; I read it. I said I didn't, but I did. I knew it would kill me when you left. I sat down and cried. Secretly, but I cried. In the letter, you told me how much you really loved me, and how you're Gran's past would mostly likely bite you in the butt.

**And never knowing  
>What could have been<br>**I now wait for a phone call that will probably never come. I hope your doing fine, but I'm not sure I am. I have a broken heart that Joy keeps trying to fix but never works. She cares too much about makeup and soap operas; well I like mysteries and people down to earth…

**And not seeing that loving you  
>Is what I was trying to do<strong>

I promise you that I still love you. I would be lying to myself if I didn't say that. I still have those cheesy songs I wrote you and I have that one poem you wrote to me. I really hope you become an author. You would be the best at it. I really hope that you are living life to the fullest.

Love, the one that has only eyes for you,

Fabian Rutter

(That's all for the letter. The rest is Pov)

(Fabian Pov)

The phone started to ring and it was Amber. I heard her words and immediately went to Lawrence Memorial hospital. Alfie was sitting in the waiting room with a single tear going down his face. He saw me and gave me a hug. He pointed to a room and I walked into it. I saw pictures of Jerome, Patricia, and their kids on a side table, along with a photo book with Amber and Alfie's wedding picture on top. I saw a frame with Mick and Mara in it, and last but not least; a scrapbook of me and Nina. I looked down and saw a woman I didn't entirely know. She smiled weakly. Amber smiled and nodded, and then left us alone.

"I wrote you this…" I choked out. "I really missed you." She smiled. "Read it…It says a lot." She nodded and started to read. I saw I couple of tears stray down her face.

"I love it…" She said crying.

"I'm sorry Nina. I needed to say that after so many years. We broke each other's hearts. I can't believe I wasn't nicer to you after that letter. I should have held you-" I was letting tears go.

"Don't worry. I want to remember you happy. Can you do three things for me? Please…"

I smiled.

"Of Course."

"Okay, I want you to move on. I love you but when I'm gone, I don't want you to dread life. I want to be with you when we die, and I want you to die not by Second, give me my IPod." I handed her the IPod and she put on 'perfect day.' "Third…Can we dance?"

"I would love this dance." I said grabbing her hand. She got out of the wires and stood with me. We danced for what seemed like hours. Until the intercom went off, "Doctors for the 4 o'clock surgery on N. Martin, please report to director's office." It was 2:30.

"You're going into surgery?" I asked holding her close.

"Yes, there's a chance I won't make it…I wanted to remember us happy." She said looking down. I grabbed her face and kissed her. She smiled at me and I felt a smile form on my face. We sat and talked after that, sharing a couple more of her intoxicating kisses. Even Amber squealed when she saw us. Then 4 o'clock came fast. She looked anxiously at the clock every couple of seconds. Then we saw the doctors coming. Amber and Alfie said goodbye, then it was my turn. I kissed her. She smiled again.

"I love you…" She said as the doctors started to come in.

"I love you too." I kissed her forehead then they left me alone in the room…

(8 hours later)

I was having a peaceful dream but got rudely wakened by Amber.

"What?" I said loud and grumpily. She had tears in her eyes.

"The cancer killed her…The cancer killed her!" and with that she collapsed in my arms. She cried into m shoulder for a minute, and then Alfie took her. I noticed Mara, Mick, Jerome, and a pregnant Patricia standing crying in the corner. Joy walked through them to me… I got up and walked outside and went to the parking lot. As I walked to my car, I saw bright lights flash in my face and a yell. It sounded so familiar; it was on the tip of my tongue. It sounded so close yet so far…I jumped out of the way and spared my life, kind of wishing my instinct just let it hit me.

(1 year later)

It's been a year since she died…I miss her but I have my new girlfriend Joy Mercer and it was her death wish that I moved on. I really didn't know if I wanted to marry Joy yet. It seemed unreal to me. Well, tonight I and Joy had a fight. She had been cheating on me with Eddie, the one who took Nina in junior year. I refuse to get back with Joy Mercer, I am going to either find another woman or stay single! I felt so angered that I walked out to go get to my car. As I walked out I heard a loud yell. It didn't belong to Joy…It sounded so close. Then I felt a thump, and darkness settled over me. I saw a light show up in this large dark room. Then I saw her… She looked beautiful in a white dress. She smiled and she looked like she did in high school. Then she came to me…She kissed my forehead.

"It's not your time yet… Don't worry; you'll be any age you want when you get here. I'll be waiting…" She smiled largely and I saw that she started to disappear.

"No. No! No!" I yelled as she faded away. I woke up in a hospital bed, with a crying Joy sitting there. She yelled for the doctors to come but I was saddened at the thought I couldn't stay. Like I said…Reality hates me.


End file.
